A threesome will not “fix” your relationship

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Before you and your partner find a threesome, you should have talked about it so much that you’re tired of talking about it. A couple needs to be on solid ground sexually and chat-wise. They need to know what they want to happen and why.

If your sex life is suffering, you could have an adult conversation about how your needs aren’t being met. You could see a couples therapist. You could carve out a night for absolutely nothing except an oral-sex marathon. (Actually, maybe do that no matter how good your sex life is.) What you shouldn't do is expect a new sexual experience to magically solve your problems. David Don, a San-Francisco- and Manhattan-based psychotherapist and sex therapist, says couples who turn to threesomes often do so in an effort to put a Band-Aid on unresolved intimacy issues. “If you’re having a threesome because sex is boring, you need to address why the sex is boring before you bring in the third,” Don says. When the third leaves, your intimacy issues will still be there.

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